[These sound files are all from Sammy’s original Lost Cave]
Grandpa: If you read the TV guide, you don’t need a TV.
[Listen (TV Guide)]
Sam: Got a problem, guys?
Edgar: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Sam: Pretty cool, huh?
Alan: For a fashion victim.
[Listen (Fashion Victim)]
Alan: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
Alan: Yeah, you think we just work in a comic book store for our folks.
[Listen (Comic Book Store)]
Sam: I told you, I don’t like horror comics.
Alan: Think of it more as a survival manual. There’s our number on the back. And pray you’ll never need to call us.
Alan: Santa Carla’s become a haven for the undead.
Alan: Does the sunlight freak him out?
Sam: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Alan: He’s a vampire all right.
Edgar: Get yourself a good sharp stake, and drive it right through his heart.
Sam: I can’t do that, he’s my brother.
Alan: Ok, we’ll come over and do it for you.
Alan: Kill your brother. You’ll feel better.
[Listen (Kill your brother)]
Michael: Sammy! Open the window.
Sam: You’re a vampire! I knew it!
Michael: I am not.
Sam: So what are you, the Flying Nun?
[Listen (The Flying Nun)]
David: You’ll never grow old, Michael, and you’ll never die. But you must feed.
[Listen (Never Grow Old)]
Sam: You drank someone’s blood? Are you crazy?
Lucy: This is my son, Sam, and Edgar and Alan… Frog?
Edgar & Alan: *grunt*
Edgar: Where’s Nosferatu?
Edgar: The Prince of Darkness.
Alan: The nightcrawler. The bloodsucker.
Edgar: Au vampiro.
Alan: Vampire hotel!
[Listen (Vampire Hotel)]
Edgar: Right now they’re at their most vulnerable.
Alan: Easy pickings.
Edgar: I guess we’ll just have to kill them all. We’ll start with the little one. First come, first staked.
[Listen (Easy Pickings)]
Edgar: Goodnight, bloodsucker.
Alan: We don’t ride with vampires.
Sam: Fine, then stay here.
Edgar: We do now.
Sam: We definitely blew Plan A.
Alan: Then it’s time to activate Plan B.
[Listen (Plan B)]
Sam: We’re on our own.
Sam: Death by stereo!
Alan: Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!
[Sam & The Frogs]
Death to all vampires.
Maximum body count.
We’re awesome monster bashers.
Alan: Holy shit! It’s the attack of Eddie Munster.
[Listen (Eddie Munster)]
Alan: But you passed the test!
[Listen (Passed the Test)]
Max: Don’t ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.
Edgar: Great! The blood-sucking Brady Bunch!
[Listen (Brady Bunch)]
Grandpa: One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach: all the damned vampires.
[Listen (Damned Vampires)]