“Star! Stay here with Laddie! We’re going on a hunt.” Came David’s voice as Paul carried his son up to Star’s mothering arms.” I think he has a small cold. I’ll pick some cold medicine on the way back.” Star looked up into her old love’s eyes, her son’s eyes, and wished they could be together like they use to be like they once were.” Thank you Paul. I’ll be sure he takes it.”
She said as she laid Laddie down to sleep.” Mommy, my head hurt’s.” Star snapped out of her thought’s to check his temperature only to have her hand brush against Paul’s.” Hey little dude. Don’t worry, I’ll have some medicine back here soon, okay?” Paul said, but he wasn’t looking at his son. He was staring at Star, thinking the same thought’s as she was.
” Paul. Get out here!” Paul jumped up at David’s command and only looked back once to see his family, a family he could never really be apart of, and if he had a soul it would have cried out. At the mouth of the cave he was shoved into the wall with David in his face.” Forget about her. She’s mine and as alpha I get to choose whether Laddie stay’s or he goes bye-bye forever. Do you understand? Stay away from Star. She’s MINE whether she wants to be or not.” Paul was looking blankly at the while nodding his head at David.” Good. Now let’s go. I’m hungry and I need a beer.”
David looked back at the little hole in the wall to see Star looking not at him, but at Paul ‘God damnit! What’s so special about Paul? So they had a kid together? That was in their old lives, don’t they get that?’ And so just to show Paul that his words rang true he walked over to Star and kissed her hard on the mouth.’ This is so disgusting. Why does he do this to Paul and I?’ David broke away after Star moved her head to the side to disentangle his lips.” You have to go. I don’t want Laddie to get worse.” Star said in her submissive voice that many would say is whiny. ‘That’s not the Star I fell in love with. What happened to the girl who would punch out a body builder for doing that to her, who would wear AC/DC shirts and tennis shoes, and would always have a smile that would make the Devil himself forgive her? What has David done to her?’ Paul looked away and ran up to his bike before he tore David into little tiny bits and ate them.” Hey Paul, there’s a bonfire that has some hot cunt’s down at the beach tonight. Wanna come with me and Dwayne to give them a ride?” Paul looked up at his friend Marko, he helped him through the two and a half years.” Naw, man. I need to get some cold medicine for Laddie. Star and I think he has a cold.” Dwayne looked up at that.” So your gonna go over to the Flat’s and take out a gang member? Dude, you know their blood taste’s like crap from all those toxins.” Nodding his head Paul started up his bike shouting over the motor,” Their the only ones with money no one cares about!” And he was off for the night.
Back at the cave Star was curled up at the old reception desk, writing her poems. That’s all she can do these days is write and stare at the fires.” Star, just except it. Nothing you do can change it, so just forget about your little home in Maine. So you had kid together, so what? It’s just a kid.” Star snapped her head was in front of David with a bit of her old self showing through at last.” Don’t you ever say that! Laddie is Paul and I son! He means more to then life itself and I would gladly give my life for both of them with no regret’s!” SLAP! Star was on the ground holding her stinging cheek. David was breathing hard with rage in his eye and he grabbed her hair to pull her up.” Don’t you ever speak to me like that you worthless bitch. Don’t think I won’t kill you or your son. I control whether you live or die, do you hear me? I decide if I want Laddie around or not. It’s only because I understand that as a mother you would protect your son at all cost’s, but to give it up for Paul? That would be a waste.” He threw her back down, not caring if she was alright.” Goodnight Star.”
And with that, David finally left, leaving Star on the floor, struggling not to let her tears fall. ’Why does he do this, when he knows I’ll never love anyone other then Paul? ’ Star picked herself up and walked back to her makeshift writing desk, looking for the rubbing alcohol. Finding it and using it on her cheek, she sat down and started to write. After an hour of waiting and writing she heard Paul’s bike, only his could be that loud, and jumped for joy before sitting back down from the pain in her head.
“ Hey! I’ve got the med’s and- WHAT THE FUCK DID DAVID DO TO YOU!?” His shout rang out through the cave waking up Laddie. ”Papa, your back!” Laddie was running down to his dad when Star picked him up.” Laddie, go back to bed. I’ll give you your medicine in a few minutes, but me and Papa have to talk for a few minutes, okay?” She set him down when he nodded his head, but had Paul carry him when he suddenly fell asleep.” Guess this cold’s a wind taker.” Paul mumbled. He set him back in his mothers bed where he could see him and walked back down to Star.” Come on.” He walked past her to the back of the cave and moved the huge poster of this guy that David liked and went behind to the little cave that he and Star had found.” I want you to tell me how that,” he tenderly touched her cheek with his knuckles , ”happened.”
Star flinched, not from his touch, never his touch, but from the pain that still felt fresh.” He was talking bad about Laddie and I said I would give my life for him …and you.” Paul felt tears come to his eyes at that. That’s his Star, the one he fell in love with three years ago. Only now, she’s the mother of his son. He wished he never had never even heard of Santa Carla. Pictures started to come to his head of a two room apartment that could’ve been theirs, where they could raise Laddie in the sunlight and be a happy NORMAL family. But that can never happen, all because he had to see something new before he became a Daddy at twenty-two. She was two years younger then him when they met, him nineteen, her seventeen. She was everything a man could ask for, she spoke her beliefs with no restraint, her love never stopping and always faithful and stood by him through the six years they’ve been together, even when in the last year and a half they’ve been separate.
It made his heart swell when she was pregnant with Laddie, even when she was yelling at who ever was home to get what ever she was craving at the time or crying because ”she’s as big as a house and her swelling tit’s hurt like a bitch.” Even when she was glaring at all the boy’s like it’s our fault saying things like ,” I am never letting any one with a dick come near me again.” Damn, now if only we could leave. ”I wish I could do something.” “You can’t, David’s too strong and I won’t turn into a vampire to defeat him Paul. We have a son to think about." Things where silent after that. Star broke the silence that seemed to be suffocating them." We’ve spent enough time back here. I need to give Laddie his medicine before he gets something like whipping cough.” With that she walked out from behind the poster and left Paul behind. When Paul walked out a few minutes later , he had his head bowed to hide his red, puffy eyes in case the boys were back.
“Maybe it’s for the best. But why God, why her? She doesn’t belong in the darkness, and neither does my son! SO WHY THEM?!?! ANSWER ME YOU SICK FUCK!” Like an answer to his cry, a wind came through blowing the poem that Star had wrote that very evening ”What…?” Picking it up, he sat down and read it over and over until he could recite it at a drop of a hat and was burned forever into his soul. ”Oh Star, how did I get an angel like you?” Hiding the piece of paper in his jacket he grabbed a beer and popped it open, feeling as though he just had a lay with Star. ’David, you may have her body, but I have everything else.’
How do I go on
Living a lie?
The touch of another’s lips,
Makes me retch and makes my heart scream.
The touch of another,
Makes my skin crawl and clammy.
I wish I could at least pretend,
I don’t feel this way,
But I’m in love with him.
He’s acrossed the room every night,
And he tucks our baby boy in bed.
He’s their with his sunlight memories,
Of day’s in the sun.
He's not where he’s supposed to be.
He’s acrossed the room,
Where me and Laddie are supposed to be.