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At The Girlschool by Amour Mitternacht

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Author's Chapter Notes:
Author's Note: A Lost Boys fic...basically a crackfic but hopefully longer than most. The fic was inspired by the song Girlschool by Britny Fox (yes, that's a band. News flash, no girls whatsoever!). For hardcore 80's rock fans, the band sounds a little like Cinderella (beings that Cinderella is the band's main influence).
Please don't ask why I know all of that...but read the fic. Hopefully one of my best ones yet...?...
The Lost Boys belong to Joel Schumacher, the name of this chapter belongs to Judas Priest.
Chapter 1
You Got Another Thing Coming
The lady behind the desk looked at Dwayne skeptically as she reviewed his criminal record. She was around her mid-40s while he didn't look a day over twenty-one. She had scarlet hair that was styled into a bouffant B-52 while his long, midnight shaded hair was slightly teased, if at all. She wore outdated glasses over her green eyes and a cop's uniform with a badge and a nametag that read "Lt. Bonnie Kent". Dwayne wore nothing over his onyx eyes, wore a leather jacket just zipped open to reveal his chest and shark tooth necklace, blue jeans that were worn and ripped on the knees and thighs, and a seagull's feather earring in his right ear lobe.
"Now," Bonnie, as was her name, began. "You were arrested for indecent exposure, illegal abuse of marijuana, abuse of an alcoholic beverage, and overall disturbing the peace on the boardwalk. Is that correct?"
Dwayne nodded. "Care to clarify?" she asked.
"You know," Dwayne told her.
Lt. Bonnie Kent sighed and looked back at his records. A moment later she tilted her head back up. "We need a confession to keep you out of jail or trial. You're lucky Santa Carla gives you the options of snitching or staying. You don't want to go to court for a couple of misdemeanors do you?"
"What happens if I do confess?" Dwayne smartmouthedly asked, the cop was not amused.
"Probation or community service. But we get to pick which one you get." she shot back.
Might as well, Dwayne thought and began to weave his wicked tale. "Well, I was smoking weed and hitting the bottle so my memory is a little fuzzy but here it goes: I wrote "KISS MY ASS!" on the windows of the comic book store owned by the Frogs. And-"
"Oh, so there's vandalism too!" the cop exclaimed.
"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, then I went to a bonfire party where someone gave me the weed and the Jack Daniels...or Jim Bean...or Jose Cuervo, I don't know anymore cause things are fuzzed up. After that the only thing I can remember is that when you guys got there I was ass naked and was holding a bag of cotton candy in front of my...yeah. Then you guys brought me here where I spent the night and so now I'm here. What do I win?"
"Well, by the looks of that story we could give you community service. It would build character for you, only nothing is really available in Santa Carla." she told him as she raised her eyebrows.
"Whoop-dee-doo, picking up trash around the town for a few hours once a week. Am I supposed to be intimidated or something?" Dwayne sneered.
Bonnie glared at him. Maaaybe the dark-haired vampire shouldn't have said that. Oh well, too late now...
Then an evil glint came to the woman's eyes. "You know, I called my sister today and she gave me a good idea for your punishment."
"I'm listening..."
"She told me about a shortage of staff at a school nearby in her area, and she lives in Boston. So I told her about you and she said that she would let you stay there a few weeks while you go to the school, Saint Mary's Academy, every day and do whatever they tell you to do." she snapped. "Don't have anything to say about that do we smartass?"
Dwayne put on his blank face. "Just as long as I don't have to sleep with anybody. Unless they're hot..."
Bonnie put on her blank face also. "Just be a good little boy to my sister. Assuming the only things in your possession are the things you are wearing, you can leave today."
Dwayne still played his poker face as a male cop walked in the room. Figuring that was his cue, he got up off the chair.
"I got one more thing to say to you before you go." Bonnie called to him. She got up from the desk and walked over to him. He turned toward her, folded his arms, and spread his feet a little ways apart.
"If you think you're gonna get off easy," she began as she took her glasses off in an attempted-intimidating manner. "then you got another thing coming."
Dwayne tried his hardest to stifle a laugh as he left.
--
When he arrived in Massachusetts, Dwayne was exhausted. To get from Santa Carla, California to Boston you would have to go through mountains and prairies and traffic...and did I mention that it was winter? Well, not heavy winter but right as the snow was beginning to melt. Anyway, let's just say that our little Dwayne was relieved when he arrived on the border of Massachusetts. But, before he was only two miles in the state he fell asleep.
He woke up directly in front of a little farmhouse that was yellowish cream-colored with robin's egg blue shutters. Surrounding the house was a white picket fence that reminded the vampire of Tom Sawyer. He got out and walked out into the dusk light, which was hurt but not enough to be more than needlepoint pain. Dwayne walked up to this house, up to the robin's egg blue door, and knocked. Behind the door he heard rustling as someone approached. Moments later the door opened where a middle aged woman with fiery red hair in curlers wearing a light blue bathrobe and bunny slippers stood. This woman and the cop were sisters alright, possibly even twins. The moment the lady saw Dwayne her eyes brightened.
"Oh, you must be Dwayne!" she exclaimed as she grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him into the house. The house was very stylish yet extravagant with beige walls and high ceilings where genuine and expensive looking chandeliers hung. The appearance was fairly knew so one had to of had the impression that the house had just been renovated. The lady still had a grip on Dwayne's shoulders and proceeded to drag him into what was apparently the dining hall where a meal of vegetable soup in a pot sat on the doily covered table.
"Hope you're hungry," she told him. "Cause I waited to eat until you got here. I made enough for the two of us." She strolled over to a chair where a soup bowl sat in front and she served herself some soup. Dwayne just stood still in place, not knowing exactly what to do. But the lady turned to him and told him. "Sit down and eat," she spoke, "You must be starving after such a trip!"
Dwayne did as told, which was kinda unusual, and sat down across from her on a wine-colored velvet upholstered chair. There was a porcelain bowl on a place mat directly in front of him where he was supposed to put his meal. That's a little different from take-out boxes...or straight up from the jugular vein. The pot of soup sat in the middle of the table with a single ladle hanging on the side. Dwayne reached for the ladle and spooned out the stew to fill the bowl halfway. Without thinking however, he scooped a little onto his spoon and stuffed it into his mouth. As a result he burnt his tongue and dropped the spoon to splatter in the soup.
"It's hot sweetie," the woman sternly pointed out the obvious.
"Yeah, I kinda know now." he replied as he picked the spoon back up. As he went for another bite, he took the time to blow on it.
"My name's Birdie by the way," she said before taking a bite herself.
"Nice to meet you...Birdie," Dwayne remarked. Even if he did kill people and eat them, he is still able to be polite to them.
"Well, when you're done Dwayne I'll show you where you are sleeping." she said to end the talking all through dinner. So in silence they sat and ate until they had their fill and their bowls were empty. Then she grabbed his wrist and dragged him up a staircase and into a room decked out in pictures of computers and robots and other unidentifiable technology.
"This was my son Sullivan's room before he left for college. He's a technician of some sort now, I forget what it is though."
"Interesting..." was all Dwayne could say. This guy must be a nerd. he thought.
"Make yourself at home sweetheart. Just throw your belongings wherever!"
"But-" Dwayne said before Birdie shut the door and cut him off. "all I have are the clothes on my back." he said anyway. Dwayne located the bed and plopped himself on it. The clock on the end table read 7:00 but Dwayne was exhausted from the road trip. Even though it was early..and night...he drifted instantly into dreamland.
Chapter End Notes:
Author's Note: Well, that's chapter one! Please please please PLEASE tell me if you like it, and go ahead and tell me if you have any constructive criticism available.
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