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F*ckability by IcedHotChocolate

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Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

“Would you do Star?” asked Edgar.

“Errrggh!” Alan exclaimed, “Never! And even if I wanted to, she’s not into boys.”

“How about Michael?” suggested Edgar, grinning.

“David would murder me in my sleep, and I don’t like his hair, anyway,” said Alan, crossing his legs.

“Sammy?” asked Edgar, “He’s kind of cute.”

“He never closes his mouth. Have you noticed that? It bothers me,” said Alan, “He is definitely not my type.”

“Well, Marko is kind of—“

“No. Just no.”

“What about David?”

“I don’t really like blondes.”


“I just said that I don’t like blondes.”

“But Paul isn’t a natural blonde.”

“…how do you know that?”

“Uh, never mind. What about Dwayne?”






“Me?” asked Edgar, grinning.

“Hmm…” Alan tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Yes.”

Edgar’s eyes widened.

“What?!” he asked incredulously.

“What?” said Alan, giving his brother a blank look.

“I- that’s- you’re my brother!” sputtered Edgar.

“Why did you suggest it, then?” asked Alan.

“I was kidding,” said Edgar, “I didn’t think you were actually some incestuous pervert!”

“You make it sound so terrible,” said Alan, “All I’m saying is that you’re attractive and I would enjoy plundering your ass, even though you’re my brother.” Edgar sat there in stunned silence for a moment.

“You really do have a nice ass,” said Alan, trying to break the tension. Edgar twitched.

“That is so weird to hear you say,” said Edgar, shaking his head.

“What makes it weird?” asked Alan, “A compliment is a compliment.”

“Yes, but when brothers compliment each other, they usually say things like ‘You’re awesome,’ or ‘Nice headband.’ They don’t say things like ‘You have a nice ass,’” said Edgar. “I can’t believe I really have to explain this to you.”

“Why does it make a difference that I’m your brother?” asked Alan, tilting his head to the side. “You wouldn’t mind if Sammy said it.”

“Yes I would,” said Edgar, “In fact, I’d be very very scared if Sammy said I had a nice ass. Remember when we went over to his house when he had his boyfriend there? I have never heard a human scream like that before.”

“Okay, then, you wouldn’t mind if David said it,” Alan said.

“Ergh, David’s kind of a creep. I bet he likes scary bloodplay sort of things,” said Edgar.

“Fine!” said Alan, “But if someone else said it, you wouldn’t mind, admit it.”

“Well, yeah, if someone else said it, it would just be a compliment. But you’re my brother, it’s creepy,” said Edgar.

“Your eyes are nice too,” said Alan, tilting his head to the side. Edgar wrinkled his nose.

“What the hell? Stop it!” he yelled.

“I’d like to hear you scream something else,” said Alan, “My name maybe.”

“That is so fucking creepy!” shouted Edgar.

“Fucking, hm… good idea,” said Alan, advancing towards his brother.

“What are you doing?” asked Edgar, inching away. Alan grinned and pushed him off the edge of the bed.

Had anyone been listening at the door, this is what they would have heard:

“Ahh! Alan! Get the fuck away from me! Pervert! Freak!”

“Stop squirming.”

“You- you’re so calm! I always knew there was something wrong with you! I- Alan! Don't touch that!”


“Alan! Cut it out! St-stop! Alan! I- oh! Nnggh… Alan…”

“Still want me to stop?”

“You- oh! Alan! Don’t you dare…”

“Dare what?”

“Mmm… don’t you dare… stop…”

“That’s what I thought.”

The headboard bashed furiously against the wall as the two brothers, ahem, did the deed.

Chapter End Notes:
I... don't know. This just sort of popped into my brain.

K, so, I think that Alan would be on top, but I have been told that I have strange opinions. Who do you think would top? And yeah, this was just a sort of random idea I had. It’s, um, crack? Yeah. Reviews and feedback are always loved.
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