'I'm prety tal I hav blon hare and blew eis...
I like too party on the bech at nite...'
Dwayne grabs the pen from Paul.
Dwayne: What the hell are you writing?
Paul: My personal ad, dude! You guys are scoring so many hot dates, I thought I'd cash in! Then, I thought we could put in an ad to get a baby sitter for Laddie....
Dwayne: That's not a bad idea, but you'd better let someone else write it, 'cuz your spelling SUCKS! What the hell is this?
Paul: It's not my fault I couldn't pay attention in school! I have ADD, and Ritalin don't work, y'know?
Dwayne: Here, let me help. Just tell me what you want to say, and I'll put it down.
Paul: Right on, bud!
I've got long blond hair, and I'm tall and lanky.
(Right after a kill, my breath's kind of skanky!)
I'm into loud music, I love to bang my head!
(You'll be amazed how well you'll bang when you're dead!)
I worship Guns'N'Roses, Twisted Sister, Def Leppard.
(But you'd better start prayin'..The Lord is my Shepherd).
We could go to a concert, and we'll smoke some joints!
(If your blood's fully loaded, you'll score extra points!)
Sometimes I go surfing, at night, at high tide.
(I'll use your stiff as a surfboard, it'll be a heluva ride!)
My favorite foods are pizza, ice cream and cake.
(And buckets of blood, some gore and raw steak! And I don't mean the wooden kind, either...)
Oh, and I simply love garlic, can't tell you why...
(You can't kill me with it, so don't even try.)
My kind of babe is crazy and wild!
(With nice, tough bones so my fangs can get filed.)
Do you like to party hardy, are you sort of reckless?
(Would you mind it if the cops found you on the beach neckless?)
Then throw your cares away and pick up the phone!
(Operators are waiting to suck you down to the bone!)
I'll be waiting for your call, my lucky lady friend...
(When you're dead and gone, got a sister to send?)
Signed- Rock 'n' Roll Rebel