Porn Family Initiation by Carla

Summary: Just ramblings of mine as I add two new members to the Family Of Porn.
Categories: Lost Cave Stories
Characters: Real People
Genres: Comedy/Parody, Lost Cave Story - Real People Feature
Pairing(s): None
Warnings: Real People Feature - Lost Cave Story
Challenges: None
Series: Porn Family Adventures
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1366 Read: 5529 Published: 14 Jan 2005 Updated: 14 Jan 2005

Chapter One by Carla

Dwayne flung open the door to Carla's private room in the cave, where her computer was set up and where she spent so much time lately agonizing over her stories. It took her over five minutes to acknowledge his presence, something that had never happened before, and did nothing to alleviate his already black mood.

"Yes?" Carla mumbled, barely glancing at him before returning to the story that had captured all of her attention, because it was becoming so difficult to write. The fact that she wouldn’t even look directly at him upset him even more and caused his tone to be harsher than he had intended.

"Stop writing," Dwayne's words were too close to being an order for Carla's comfort, and her non-existent feathers were ruffled.

"Go away."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. Go away. You know better than to interrupt me when I'm writing," Carla dismissed him with a wave of her hand and returned her full attention to the computer screen. Dwayne shook his head roughly, sending all that dark hair spinning through the air about his head, then crossed over to stand behind her, his hands falling heavily onto her shoulders.

"This is important, important enough to interrupt you," he said seriously.

"Important?" she laughed up at him. "Se-"

"Porn Family Initiation," Dwayne broke in before she could finish her thought. "Christyl and Sammi have been waiting for months to be initiated into the Porn family. You're going to get it set up today." When Carla opened her mouth to protest and make excuses because of her story, he placed one finger to her lips to silence her. "Set it up, finish it, and get a treat."

"Promise?" she asked after a moment of silence in which she weighed the options quickly. He nodded and she sighed, shutting down her computer and standing slowly, brushing past him to gather ingredients for the initiation.

Dwayne smiled slowly, settling into her recently abandoned chair to watch the preparations. Because the ceremony changed at her every whim, it was always fun to watch. Each new time was a surprise, one that often led to fun occurrences.


After kicking the family out for the first few hours of night, Carla set up the main room of the cave, with a little help from Dwayne, David, Tracy, and Valley.

When they were finished she was quite pleased with the candles spread about the room, sending flickering images everywhere. Various colors of carnations were tucked around the room, and an ancient pewter bowl held flower petals and four rolled papers.

A loud crash from outside, followed by the rumble of voices gave away the others' return to the cave. A flurry of activity from the three SOPs finished setting up the room and all that was left were their preparations of their own bodies.

"Are you ready?" Dwayne asked Carla quietly. She nodded, motioning him and David out of the cave so the Sisters Of Porn could dress quickly.

When the original Lost Boys led the two Initiates into the room, after a quick reminder that both Christyl and Samantha had to remain silent throughout the initiation, the three Sisters Of Porn were quite ready and calm, waiting patiently for the others.

Their initiation outfits where slightly different from what one would expect from such a solemn occasion, but these were the Sisters Of Porn. Each wore black leather pants and a tank top, along with a long hooded cloak, the hood drawn up over their hair. Tracy's tank top and cloak were of the deepest purple velvet, Valley's were a brilliant dark red, almost the color of blood, and Carla's were a shimmery blue, the same mix of colors as the sky at sunset.

"Christyl and Samantha, come forward please," Carla spoke quietly, not rising from the stone chair she was perched on. Tracy and Valley beckoned the two Initiates forward from their own stone chairs.

"Christyl, you wish to be the Brilliant COP," Carla's voice slid throughout the room, low and dark. Acting classes had certainly paid off, for which she was always thankful. "For your suggestion to substitute the Lost Boys for the cake in funnel cakes and their toppings, we, the three Sisters Of Porn, do declare you worthy of the Porn family."

"Worthy, she is worthy," Tracy and Valley echoed. Tracy handed Christyl an unlit candle with a knowing smile.

"Samantha, you wish to be the Mild COP," Carla continued on. "For your depiction of Alan, Paul, and Michael in the nude, we, the three Sisters Of Porn, declare you worthy of the Porn family."

"Worthy, she is worthy," Tracy and Valley echoed once more. Valley handed Samantha an unlit candle and the three SOPs stood for the first time during the ceremony. Each held a lit silver candle.

"Christyl M----, we do declare you the Brilliant Cousin Of Porn," the Sisters Of Porn spoke as one as they lit her candle with their own.

Carla reached back with her free hand and lifted one of the rolled papers from the pewter bowl, then handed it to Christyl.

"Samantha R--- A------, we do declare you the Mild Cousin Of Porn," once again they spoke together while lighting her candle as well. Carla handed her another paper from the pewter bowl.

Raeann and Frosty moved forward then, holding their own lit candles.

"The Porn Family unites," Carla spoke slowly, the slight pauses adding weight to her words. "Now, blow out your candles." As one the entire Porn Family blew out the dancing flames. Silence filled the cave for a long moment before Paul and Alan led the cheers that rang from the stone roof.

"The papers are your certificates of authenticity," Valley explained quickly. "They prove that you really are Porn Family members."

"Because this is something new, we have certificates for you two as well," Tracy told Raeann and Frost, handing them their own rolled papers. "Now no one can debate whether you are a Porn Family Member."

"Now let's celebrate," Carla laughed, tossing her hooded cloak back onto her chair and motioning Dwayne and David forward. They each pushed a large cart laden with various desserts, including funnel cakes of a variety of flavors, much chocolate, and bottles of Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew. "For tonight only, you may drink all the Dew and Pepper that you want. It won't harm you or the baby."

"Just another perk of being a Sister Of Porn," Tracy laughed. "We can declare things like this."

The vampires and mortals alike swarmed over the food and drink as laughter and congratulations spilled up into the night air.

And so the Porn Family grew once more.

Carla drew away from the festivities slowly, watching as the newest members of her family enjoyed the fruits of their initiation. She didn’t notice when Dwayne crept up behind her, not until his hands dropped to rest on her hips.

“It went over well,” he praised her for all the effort that had gone into it. Carla smiled up at him slowly and leaned back against him, allowing herself to relax for the first time in weeks.

“If only my stories would go over so well,” she murmured.

“They will,” Dwayne promised her. “You’ll get that writing groove back. You always do.” Carla nodded, though it was obvious she still had her doubts. They fell silent again as they watched Alan draw Sam out to a clear spot on the floor and ask her to dance. Paul did the same for Christyl, for David was too busy alternating his time between Valley and Tracy.

Dwayne ducked his head to brush a quick kiss across the side of Carla’s throat. “Dance or your treat?” he asked quietly. Carla actually had to think about the question for a long moment.

“Dance for now,” she told him, drawing him back towards the crowd of people. “I can’t leave them during the celebration, not yet at least. But definitely my treat later.” His quiet laughter was quickly swallowed up by the thudding music and the hyper voices of the rest of the cave inhabitants.

And it was good.

The End
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