Date: 03 Jan 2011 7:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
It's not Edger and Allan... If you have watched the movie then you should know it's: Edgar and Alan Frog.
E-D-G-A-R : A-L-A-N
Please go through your work and correct that.
Secondly. I suggest you slowly and carefully go through your work and space out the dialogue and - DO paragraphs.
Full stops you forget, and where the hell are your commars and things to break down everything.
Go and find a beta please.
This is just some advise, as you seem, in my eyes, to be a good writer.
Please, if you love writing, then you will listen. Do put some thought and care into your work.
No one likes good talent going to waste.
Minus all of that, I enjoyed this. If you do as I have advised, I will be back to leave a larger, nicer, reivew.
Author's Response: ok i will take your advise and go through my work and sorry about the edgar and alan thing i am relly bad at spelling.